Star Fox Commando: Leon's Big Day
by Green Leader Bee Hibachi
Summary: Let's break into the room next door...'Cept I need to go to the bathroom first...


STAR FOX COMMANDO: LEON'S BIG DAY

In the universe, there are millions of galaxies. The Milky Way. The Horse Head. The Bad Dragon. And, in the middle of all this, the Lylat Galaxy.

In the middle of the cosmos, there it is. The Lylat Galaxy.

In the middle of the universe, there it lies. The Lylat Galaxy.

A pristine, beautiful furry galaxy. The Lylat Galaxy.

And in this beautiful, awe-inspiring galaxy, there lives the Star Fox Team. Comprised of Peppy Hare, Slpipy Toad, Falco Nolastname, Fox McCloud, ROB64, and Krystal LasticusNamicus. Together they worked to save the galaxy numerous times from Dr. Andonuts.

However, today, we do not talk about the Star Fox Team, but the Star Wolf Team. That which is comprised of Wolf O'Donnell, Panther Caroso/Caruso/Whothefuckcares, and Leon Powalski.

Today begins the big day of Leon Powalski. The legendary Big Day of Leon Powalski! Oh, Leon Powalski. Powalski.

Today, Leon decided to make some coffee. Leon opened the door to his room, went out of the room, and closed the door. He replaced the sign on the door and made it say "the lizard is OUT". Leon then went to the kitchen and opened the cupboard. Sitting in the cupboard was 100 bags of coffee beans he had stolen from Star Fox, back when they visited the team and had a fuckfest with Krystal. Leon made his eyes look back and forth and scan the labels of the coffee bean bags.

20 bags were labeled "French Toast". 20 other bags were labeled "Super Dark Roast" and "Super Dark Roast Supreme". Leon looked at them with disgust and threw out the total of 40 bags. Leon then thought. "That's 40 bags, and I took 100. Uhh, shit, what's that again. Uh, I think I have 50 bags left. I think."

So, Leon looked at his 50 bags of coffee beans. All of them were labeled "Caramel macchiato roast". "Shit," Leon said. "I told Peppy I didn't take the caramel macchiato roast." Leon then threw up his hands. "WHO THE FUCK CARES! IT'S MINE NOW!" Leon then hooked up his coffee set-up, his Keurig Koffee Maker, Kustom Keurig Kups, and a coffee bean grinder. He poured the caramel macchiato roast beans into the grinder and grinded them. He hummed a cool song while he grinder the coffee beans.

Then, the grinding was done. Then he poured the ground coffee into the Kustom Keurig Kup and put the Kup into the Keurig Koffee Maker. He set the settings to a medium cup of coffee and made sure there was water in the water tank. He waited a few minutes, and then brown, liquideous, delicious smelling coffee poured out the Keurig Koffee Maker into the Koffee Mug he had under it.

Leon took a whiff of the caramel macchiato roast. "Oh my God, it smells delicious. But I don't take my coffee black." So, Leon opened the fridge, and got out some hazelnut coffee creamer, and a stick of unsalted butter. He poured the creamer into his coffee and then dropped the butter into the coffee. Then he got a fork and stirred the coffee until it was complete. Leon now had a complete coffee. Leon could now start his Big Day.

Leon then began to scream, and drank the coffee. He then quickly repeated the process and made another caramel macchiato roast. He screamed again, and poured the coffee all over himself. He screamed really loudly as it ran all over his face. He began to scream the lyrics to "Stronger than You (feat. Estelle)" as he poured cup after cup of caramel macchiato roast on himself.

Wolf and Panther silently watched from the hallway, along with Peppy, who stowed away and camped out in their bathroom. "He's a fucking maniac," said Panther. "Why did we keep him again?" "Because he is a valuable member to the team and it is imperative we keep coffee here," flatly said Wolf. "I'm just here because that bitch stole my coffee," said Peppy. Peppy then rushed back to the bathroom and resumed slamming the plunger into their toilet.

"I AM READY!" yelled Leon. "I AM READY TO START MY BIG DAY!"

Leon then walked, and suddenly, his life flashed before his eyes. He had tripped on Panther's lego set on the kitchen floor, and fell down on his nose.

"Fucking OWNED!" screamed Panther.

"I am not ready to start my big day," sadly said Leon. And he laid there on top of Panther's legos.

Leon was not ready to start his big day.


End file.
